The Happy Face Monster

Eight to nine feet of it. Weight: "Unknown. A lot."

"Corporate egregore wearing the idea of a mascot as flesh."

Names and badges

Among its names are Happy Mart Demon, Corporate Egregore and Smiley Faced Bastard.

The corner badges carry the Happy Mart logo, the words Corporate Egregore beside a biohazard symbol, the rating "THREAT LEVEL: OMEGA", and a barcode tag that reads "ALWAYS OPEN. ALWAYS WATCHING."

Overview

A note, taped to the file:

A corporate icon meat. Born. Born from panic, greed and bad magick. It smiles because it was made to. It kills because it must. It feels nothing. It stops for no one.

Body

A towering, unclothed, hyper-muscled humanoid body, pale and pockmarked, under an oversized yellow Happy Mart smiley-face head. The grin hides razor-sharp teeth.

"It moves with the brutal cheerfulness of a retail mascot that has no soul and no off-switch."

Among the head's recorded states are default, roaring, damaged, displaced and resetting. In a roar the grin splits and the jaw opens into a ring of fangs. Knock the head out of place and it realigns with a snap, then pops back where it was.

The hands: "Fingers long enough to enclose and crush a human skull."

Capacities

• Superhuman strength
• Extreme durability
• Pain resistance
• Self-repair, head reset included
• Corporate egregore persistence, because "the idea is harder to kill than the body"

Recorded damage runs from cuts and goo leakage to heavy damage.

Weaknesses

It's slow, and it isn't agile. Precision damage works better than blunt force, so if you get the choice, aim. It overcommits to attacks.

Decapitation will end the current manifestation.

Current.

What it is

"Corporate symbol given meat." It wears the Happy Mart smiley, and it's an egregore, the same word used for the mantle.

Its notes rule out a horned demon, a man in a mask and a zombie.

"Everything dies."

Source of record: Model Sheet. Cleared. Revised 2026-10-17.